Bigg Loss?

For beginners, Bigg Boss is an Indian adaptation of the famous International Reality TV Show - Big Brother, a term which originated from George Orwell's novel Nineteen Eighty-Four. The concept of the show is such that a bunch of conflicting characters (lesser-known-TV-and-film actors) are made to stay with each other in a house for 90-odd days. How they turn friends, bicker on petty issues, get into ugly confrontations, form groups, play stupid, politicize the developments and try to nominate one another to be eventually voted out by audience one by one till the last man standing form the crux of the show.

Season after season, the show has been getting eyeballs. After the first few boring episodes wherein the contestants manage to keep up the façade by taking politically-correct stances, the audience begins to enjoy themselves watching the drama unfold before their eyes as familiarity (and competition) starts breeding contempt and the bunch of jokers come out of their shell and start baring their base selves.  And we, as a voyeuristic audience, love that!. Don’t we?

So, what kind of people makes it to the show? The makers of the show consider names that will get them a good mix of entertainment, vulgarity, controversy, romance, verbal-duels and well, lots of TRPs. Established celebrities usually avoid reality shows. So, either those who haven’t been lucky enough to get their ‘big break’ in the entertainment industry or ones who remain in focus for all the wrong reasons usually make the cut. Some of them accept the offer from the channel merely out of desperation while others come with calculated risks hoping that the show will catapult their sagging careers to new and favorable heights.

The host of the show is played, surprisingly, very well by popular film-star Salman Khan. I think there couldn’t have been a better choice. Though he plays the role of a buffer by showing the mirror to the participants every now and then, he himself loses temper and behaves in a quirky manner from time to time. Thus, his personality blurs into the format of the show to the T.

Now, what all happens in the show is not something that propelled me to write this blog. Instead, what caught my fancy is the intention and hope with which the participants agree to come on the show in the first place. If I am to put it succinctly, I would say it is decent money, national exposure and possibility of lucrative projects in future that drive them to join the show. So, what happens to the winners eventually? What about the runner-ups? Does the show really boost their career in any which way?

Contrary to expectations, history has it that the show has done little to make directionless careers head northwards. None of the winners from the previous seven seasons has benefitted from the show and went on to make it big. Today, as I write, the winner of Season-8, Gautam Gulati, must be over the moon and somersaulting in his new-found glory (He turned out to be the winner in the Grand Finale last night).

I think what proves to be the nemesis for the contestants is the fact that they get 'overexposed' on the show which is like a death knell for actors. I think actors need to have an aura of enigma and mysticism in order to be successful professionally. Once they get exposed to the death, they fall out of favor with the audience for they have seen all the facets of their personalities. Spectators tend to lose interest in the characters these actors play on-screen for they know how the actors actually behave when they face certain situations in reality. For example, if an actor (as a contestant on the reality show) is well-known for breaking down under slightest of pressure or doesn't know how to take criticism/ antagonism in their stride, he will never be convincing enough to pull off role of a tough cop on-screen. By the same token, if another actor is notorious for being a foul-mouthed guy, he would never be able to draw reverence from audience when playing God in a mythical saga.

It is indeed heart-breaking to see that even after struggling throughout the seasons and passing the litmus test, winners’ careers do not get wings. I seriously hope that, unlike previous victors, the winner of this season (Bigg Boss-8) goes on to succeed in life and bags lucrative offers in the industry. Sadly enough, that hasn’t been the story so far. They come out of obscurity to give fleeting public appearances only to be slipped back into the abyss of oblivion and mediocrity. Alas!

Greeting New Year With Hope

Welcoming the New Year sans any resolution, one feels something hugely amiss. I am experiencing the same feeling right now. But still, I am OK with it. At the start of every year, millions of people across seven seas anyway make resolution which they never adhere to beyond the first phase. I, myself, have been a serial offender in this case. Moreover, I think, we have seen so much being taken away from us in the past one year that all other things appear pale in comparison. Then why must we follow the stupid practice? So, today, on the very first day of 2015, I am getting rid of the resolution-making habit. Instead, I am trying to revive the 'hope’ that has died inside me. 

As it is, a bit of introspection made me realize that what usually makes us feel truly happy and worthwhile may not even present itself in a physical form.  All the worldly things are made to appeal to human senses but not necessarily they bring peace of mind and inner happiness.

See, I am a fat guy and I understand that if I exercise regularly from now onward, it will make me fitter and healthier in future. But will it make me happy? I am afraid I am not sure.

I started earning seven years back and my first salary-check drew me Rs 6000. It was not much but still it made me happy. Today, I make a decent cut by any standard but does it please me? Do I feel content with it? I don’t quite know the answer.

I used to feel happy when I would see chirpy and innocent kids walking up to school in the morning. For a few fleeting moments, I would forget all my problems. The feeling is not the same anymore. Now, every time I see a school kid, the disturbing images of the massacre in the army school of Pakistan by terrorists hit me like a bullet. It has become increasingly difficult for me to disassociate the ills of society from whatever good is left in the world.

I will feel good if my peers feel good with my personal growth and happiness. I will feel better if my colleagues feel better at my professional advancement at work. I will feel truly happy and amazing if there is less of hatred and war and more of love and peace in the world.

So, on this first day of the year, I just ‘hope’ that the coming days, weeks and months will witness more of tolerance, peace and unity in the world than anything else. These three things together form the core of humanity and score over everything else. Our world will indeed be a better place to live in even if we are left with just three of these things... because, at the end of the day, everything else doesn’t really matter. Does it?

Click! Click!

The idea of putting fingers to keyboard - who puts pen to paper in this age? - on the subject ‘clicked’ to me during my recent trip to visit Taj Mahal in Agra. The moment I entered into the precinct of Taj Mahal, the sheer magnitude of tourists who had come to witness one of The Seven Wonders of the World hit me like a bullet. There was one more thing which was hard to miss – Camera. Almost every other tourist was equipped with a camera like a machine gun that would go click after every 10 seconds. Those who were not carrying any photographic equipment were flocked by tourist photographers who competed against one another to get prospective clients. The deal was simple. They would click you and provide you the hard copies reflecting your best face in exchange for some money. And, boy oh boy, the deal got lapped up and how!

Stand straight, chin up, look into the camera….wear your best smile….nice, ready?  – CLICK!

It amazes me no end that, barring a negligible lot, the entire population in urban cities is smitten with photography syndrome. They either are in love with being photographed all the time or are completely given to photographing every passing moment of their lives. And it baffles me in equal measure that, to some extent, I am one of them. (Yes, I admit guilty. Hang me now!)

But if we try to understand the psychology behind the syndrome, we should not really be as surprised. See there is a reason why we are obsessed with photography so much. Human beings, since time immemorial, have been in love with their 'images'. We love it when we see our reflection in mirror. And like it all the more when it smiles back assuredly. We look only at ourselves first in family videos and photo albums. The professional photographers at tourist spots know this human weakness and don’t shy away from exploiting it to their own advantage. They simply feed our ego and vanity by promising memorable portraits. And then we don’t even mind spending a few hundred bucks in exchange of getting something which is so rewarding and self-assuring. Yes, a good photograph gives THAT assurance better than anything else.  

In fact, the corporate world knows it too and markets their products accordingly. One gentle touch upon our weak nerves and we end up eating out of their hands. A few examples - mobile companies coming out with impressive front and back cameras in their handsets; fitness centres installing life-size mirrors for their members; and fashion designers dictating the latest fads and dismissing fashion faux pas!

Coming back to my Taj Mahal visit, after soaking in and admiring the beauty of the mausoleum for a while, I took a moment to observe the behavior of people around me. (It always interests me to notice how people carry themselves around a camera.)

To start with, I noticed one American tourist who went berserk taking photographs of Taj Mahal from every possible angle. The sound of his high-end SLR camera taking shots in series reminded me of a machine gun - Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click!

I am sure he saw the beautiful structure only through the lenses that day. Poor guy, only if he knew how mesmerizing the monument looked if seen from naked eyes. 

Hundreds of school children were sitting in clusters on the lawns of Taj Mahal, chit-chatting with one another, doing harmless fun, monkeying around escaping the vigilant eyes of teachers who were managing them. Soon a firang couple noticed them. Don't what actually it was but I guess they must have liked the carefree, energetic and guile-free nature of the school kids or perhaps, their innocent countenances may have appealed to them. The couple started photographing them. Finding themselves to be the centre of attention all of a sudden, the little devils went into a roar and started posing before the camera like seasoned rockstars! The collective noise reached such crescendo that I am sure Mr Shah Jahan and his begum must have felt uncomfortable for a few moments in their graves and cursed back. But they would dare not think about coming up out in the open and complain because, I am sure, shutterbugs would not have spared them either.

Mrs & Mr Shah Jahan, stop cursing and look here...no no no...you have to dust off your fancy costumes first...and please put your jewelry pieces in order. Now stand straight, chin up, look into the camera….wear your best smile….nice, ready?  – CLICK!

A couple in the distance seemed to have a rough day. The girl was not happy for some reason and the guy was trying hard to cheer her up. Again, I don't know the background but it was not really the best of days to visit the symbol of love. For one, the precinct of Taj Mahal was crowded like hell and second, there was a long waiting line. As long as one can see through naked eyes. Standing and waiting in queue for long hours does take the fizz out of your romantic bubble. Failed at all attempts to bring smile to her face, the guy finally used the brahmmaastra (a deadly weapon in Hindu mythology that always brings the desired result) – an SLR Camera!
He started capturing his beloved randomly.

Girls are wired differently. Put them before a camera for a few seconds and they become a different person.

The next thing I knew the girl was in a cheerful mood and happily posing for the camera. Poor guy! He didn’t know what he was trading for in the quest for putting a smile on the girl’s face. Gauging the mood of the girl, I knew that Mr Photographer was in for a long day.

A couple from the northern belt had come to visit The Taj. It was almost impossible to miss them with the couple leading the trail of FIVE kids! It made an amusing sight. What a contrast between couples in urban cities who fuss over rearing the only kid in the family and their counterparts in tier-2 and 3 cities who don’t even start thinking before bringing at least half a dozen kids to the world. The men of such families, I have noticed, walk with a sense of pride as if producing so many kids with their women was the only reassurance they could have got about their virility. I overheard a brief conversation between the couple when the man asked his wife to pose for a photograph.

'Seedha khada rahiye naa, aur thoda muskuraiye toh!’

‘Jaiyye hamein naa chhedein, hamein nahi khichwani hai photo-shoto.’

‘1 minute ki hi toh baat hai, seedha khada rahiye, pallu sar par rakh lijiye aur muskuraiye.’

‘Hamein sharam aati hai.’

Oh. My. God. Isn't it a funny world? I can bet she would not have felt this embarrassed even when her husband was knocking her up every other year.  But here she is, coyness personified, when asked to pose merely for a photograph!
(Pardon me if I sound a little offensive here but it had to come out.)

The best of the lot were the elderly couples. They seemed to know how to enjoy themselves while they were there. I guess old age and wisdom do that to you. You become more observant, calmer and at peace with your surroundings. They were quietly observing the façade, the lawn, the towering minars, the naqqaashi (artistic patterns) and Urdu inscriptions on the walls and so on – as if absorbing every beautiful thing about the wonderful structure. Unlike the younger lot, they were taking pictures only occasionally. They seemed more interested in clicking the wonderful atmosphere through the lenses of their eyes and then storing the moment for keeps in the memory cards of their brains.

All said and done, the bottom line is that humans’ obsession and fascination with their own image will never cease to exist.  And for the same reason, their love for camera is only going to increase and touch new heights of madness. Now, some of us may choose to stand back and criticize others for being hopeless narcissists when the truth is that they themselves are no better than the object of their criticism. The only difference could be the degree of obsession. Rest is all the same. Wait a second....where are we going with this? And why are we even talking about it? Let’s not waste time any more, get ourselves together and pose for the camera instead!

Yes, you got me right. Now stand straight, chin up, look into the camera….wear your best smile….nice, ready?  – CLICK!

Vivekananda Reloaded!

Fun – if you don’t value it, chances are that you never had any in your life. For those who did, would swear by the richness it brings to life. See, no doubt that life is a serious business and one must pursue and execute one’s duties earnestly. I totally agree on that point. But, what’s the harm in mixing it all up with a bit of fun and frolic. Let’s not be too grave about life for it will come to an end anyway…sooner or later.

Now before you guys pull out your guns at me and be your trigger-happy selves, let me be straight with my stuff. I do not intend to get preachy here. So, please discount me on the fact that it will be completely unintentional if I do sound like one at any point.

Of late, I have noticed that things are not as difficult as we make them out to be. And, frankly speaking, I didn’t need to look beyond me to realize that. Just the other day, I was…..errrrr. Wait, I am not going to embarrass myself on a public platform with truckloads of stupid episodes that I have encountered lately. Instead, I will be a bit generic and start from Level 1.

Scary as they sometimes seem to be - a job interview, an upcoming review meeting with a client, facing a girlfriend after having failed to stand up for a date, we-need-to-talk sessions with your wife etc – our mind tends to work overtime and lean towards the negative aspects/ outcome more. And before you know, the fear engulfs you so much that, most of the time you choose not to walk that road at all lest things will turn from bad to worse. FEAR is the root cause of all problems as one cool dude (Swami Vivekananda) figured out almost a century back. 100 goddamn years have passed by ever since but we, the human race, have failed miserably to get that simple thing. So, for once, let’s ride on a new wave today.  Today, we will not focus on fear but FUN.

See, fear is something that was, is and will always be there to trouble mankind. The trick lies in becoming aware about its limitations and knowing how we can mitigate its impact on us. Yes, we should combat fear with fun. Now, fun can mean different things to different people. But for me, it means overcoming fear and to be able to see what lies beyond it. Just try to think of what immense possibilities and rewards await you if you subdue all your initial fears and take that first leap.

There could be a dream job waiting for you if you choose to put your fears behind and take that INTERVIEW. You never know you may be the candidate they have been looking for.

I agree a REVIEW MEETING can go either way but if you deal with it by being bundle of nerves, it is sure to go only one way – southwards.

 A GIRLFRIEND may be mad over you for getting stood up on a date but, if you really do care about her, call her back or rather meet her with genuine remorse and show some promise for future. Wait…what am I saying?!?! NO WAY! Listen guys, DO NOT DITCH your LADY….EVER on a DATE! Because chances are you may come back from dead but there is absolutely no redemption here.  

And lastly…..DON’T avoid we-need-to-talk sessions with your life partner. Being a continual sore is a different thing but realizing it and acknowledging the same before your wife is a completely different stuff. Who knows, doing the latter may make your wife think of you in a different and positive light. Nothing works better than a sincerely-felt apology. And don’t you ever try to fake it. Women can see through put-ons. BEWARE!

The point is that the balance between fun and fear changes with age and maturity. Fun usually rides over fear when you are a kid and growing up. Once we come of age, God knows what happens to us and the equation changes diametrically. Must not we then hold on to that attitude which saw us through tough times during our childhood! After all, what is life without a bit of fun here and there. Fear, as I understand it, is here to stay. And if you too have come to terms with it, why not make its existence less troublesome with an attitude laced with FUN! 

Unsolicited Marriage Solicitor

As they say, when time passes by swiftly, it means you have had a good time. It’s been over 15 months now and it still feels as if I got married last week only. All thanks to my life partner, Hema, who has made life all the more beautiful for me and worth living a thousand time over. I can’t thank you enough for coming into my life.

The beautiful thought of two people tying the knot and being united in mind, spirit and body (urrgh…I can see a lot of imaginative minds working overtime) has struck a chord with me. But, at times, it also directs my attention towards current crop’s take on it.  A lot of bachelors I meet in my social circle voice their thoughts about marriage being a dreadful prospect. Reason? They say with it comes responsibilities and accountability which will curb their free way of life. Come on guys! I mean this is no reason to delay what is a logical next step in life once you settle down in the cushion of a well-paid job. Some say they get afraid of what they see happening around them. Rising divorce cases, bickering couples, frustrated and struggling spouses are a great deterrent. This argument also doesn’t hold much water for me. For every one such bad case, I am sure, there must be 10 good examples which are worth emulating. To cut the long argument short, I would say you are not required to form your opinions - which become stronger by the day and transform into misplaced beliefs later - basis one or two examples in society. These cases are mere aberrations and not the norm.

As for your freedom, who said that you can’t follow your spirit after getting married!? Just try to win your life-partner’s confidence and trust…and be a bit more giving. Trust me, your life will change only for better. And not for one second fool yourself into thinking that it is fun being a wanderer and a footloose all your life. It will get too boring that way. Won’t it?! I am only too sure that you will come to realize this sooner than later and understand the point I am trying to drive home.

 I can say so because, as a bachelor, I too had my own share of doubts but all my misgivings about the limitations of a married life turned out to be mere illusions. And all of them flew out of the window within one week of meeting my life partner and how!  Now, having lived a considerable period of time together, I have wisened to the fact that life becomes more interesting and double the fun when you get hitched to a person who is on the same wavelength as you.

Take my case. My initial doubts about marriage had its roots well placed though. To begin with, I am not at all an easy person to get along with. My idiosyncrasies have the making of a legend but that’s another story. Hema has walked into my life like a fresh breeze. She has complemented me in more ways than one. We are like the proverbial foil to each other. She has helped me become a balanced person today and I feel better equipped to take on the challenges of life.

See, don’t read this blog as if it has been written by a person too obsessed with his marital status and already cutting loose with unsolicited ‘gyaan’ to the unmarried ones. The problem - Yes! It is called a ‘problem’ nowadays - with me is that whatever good & happiness I experience in life, I wish the same for all the people I care about in life. And thus, pieces like this keep coming out of me.

 I know, for a marriage to become successful, it needs to go through the vicissitudes of life and come out victorious. As a married couple, we have just embarked on that journey.  We still have a long way to go but we know that we have started well and as someone has rightly said, “well begun is half done.”

So, the whole thing is that ki bhaiyya main ye nahi keh raha hu ki you should rush into marriage for the heck of it. Nahi. Bilkul nahi. All I am saying is take your time, meet like-minded people and see where it goes from there. My advice to everyone who think they are better off being single is simple and straight – give marriage a chance. Believe me, it can do wonders to your life….and if it doesn’t do so, well….I will not shy away from writing another piece for you!

Stay happy, stay blessed. J

And Delhi Ran Again...

After a hiatus of about a year, the time was right here again. Airtel Delhi Half Marathon was waiting with open arms to embrace the enthusiastic and fitness-freak Delhiites. Wintry morning bike ride to the venue (Jawahar Lal Nehru Stadium) ran the same chill down my backbone that I, for some inexplicable reason, enjoy to the hilt. Parked the bike and my worldly thoughts at a friend’s place, I quickly changed into the running gear and was off to the venue to meet the synergy that thousands of Delhites create at this juncture every year. The atmosphere was bubbling with common spirit to support noble causes that Delhi marathon offers individuals to run for. I felt one with the feeling too.

I have been a regular at the Delhi half marathon for the past three editions. The entire idea of awakening weary souls from lazy bodies through an event as big as this struck an instant cord with me three years back. It's like a reality check regarding our sedentary lifestyle. What else, we get to donate the participation fee to a cause we feel for. My money was for providing quality education to one and all.

Young ones, oldies, bodies that were in superb shape and the ones that I would refrain from describing here for want of socially-acceptable expressions took part in the marathon with the same gusto. I met an old colleague (ex-boss) and a regular marathon bunny at the event – Anup Sharma. His enthusiasm for running is contagious. I joined hands with him yet again and headed towards the starting line. Delhi CM Hon’ble Sheila Dikshit, Superstar Shah Rukh Khan, Glam doll Bipasha Basu and new-handsome-on-the-block Rajeev Khandelwal were present there at the do to flag off the race and support the cause.

People wearing fancy costumes, flashing messages to overcome evils of society and inspiring music by professional rock bands were the highlights of the event. Corporates, like every year, sponsored their employees and chipped in with substantial money for various causes ranging from eradication of poverty, female foeticide, gender bias, racism and promoting quality education for underprivileged lot among others.

I participated in the ‘Great Delhi Run’ category and completed the entire 6-km stretch; this time round without stopping once. May be my stamina has improved from last year or it could be the curved lips that decorated beautiful faces running alongside which proved to be my motivation. At every bend, there were percussionists, guitarists, folk dancers and singers who jammed to buck up the runners. Rock bands from Delhi University were missing though due to internal exams. All in all, it was a great fun activity and I enjoyed myself as much as I had expected. Looking forward to next year now and hopefully I will be able to participate in the half-marathon (21 kms) next time. That will be quite an achievement for me. But the next season is one entire year away from the present. Time for me to start checking my calorie intake and being a regular at gym now.

Rancour With Past

Loved you, hated you and finally made peace with you;
O Past, why did you torment my soul so much before realising its hue?
As I say this, I am falling into a deep moat of Introspection;
Society, family and friends – meeting everybody with rejection.
Wasted sources, untapped potential, missed opportunities and unwanted clout;
Estranged fellows who could have been friends-for-life otherwise without doubt!

Why did you keep my faculty on tenterhooks?
Not even falling once for its tender looks!!
Taking a deep sigh now as the curtains drew,
O Past, why did you torment my soul so much before realising its hue?


Felt burnt, flushed, bruised and jaded;
When hardship presented itself before me stark naked.
Standing my ground, I refused to budge an inch;
Just to show adversity that I am not the sorts who would flinch.
Staring into my eyes, it demanded absolute submission;
Remained unperturbed, I refused to abort my vision.
With just a ray of hope in heart and no divine harness,
I climbed on the mountain of litmus test devoid of tenderness.
Got several wounds in the process that time would not heal,
Almost gave myself away, losing self-confidence in the deal.
Would have been a dead meat but for a sane advice,
That lifted my spirits and invigorated life.

Though I fought back and feel a better man now,
One rancour still stays put in my heart that refuses to bow.
How come you didn’t get the square view?
O Past, why did you torment my soul so much before realizing its hue?!